well......huh
Nov. 22nd, 2004 10:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blackheiseiI got woken up at 9:30 this morning. Mondays are my days to sleep in until noon. However...I don't mind this call in the least.
to explain: My Oldest sister called me today, to ask me about the laptop I need for college. Turns out that my biological father has landed several jobs, and since he never sent me so much as a card for my graduation....he wants to buy me my laptop.
Me: ::blinkblink:: cool!
I knew that with the finacial aid I have, I *could* afford the iBook required for teaching majors, but I wasn't sure how tight it would be. For a girl that has about ten dollars spending money a week *with* two jobs, the thought of spending over $800 on one computer was a little daunting. (the newest model, the G-4, costs $999......ick)
He also wanted to know what recreational software I wanted, as well as a carrying case, and anything else He can think of to "Personalize" this gift. I say; if he wants to throw this much money at me, more power to him. I'm not sure how/if this will change my feelings toward him, though it *does* help to sooth the ruffled feathers of my Neglect issues somewhat.
No computer, or other monitary gift, will wash away 11 years worth of abandonment. I know that. And I don't know if I will ever be able to be comfortable around him. But I *can* appriciate the effort he is making now, belated though it may be. Just talking over the internet, I can pretend he's just another aquaitance. it's when I am with him face to face that it's rubbed into my face how much of a stranger he is to me. and a creepy one at that.
Oh hell. I don't know *how* I feel about the man...there's so much fear/contempt/distrust/anger and....I dunno. I've pitied him too. I'll just say I'm glad to be getting a laptop, and be done with it!
to explain: My Oldest sister called me today, to ask me about the laptop I need for college. Turns out that my biological father has landed several jobs, and since he never sent me so much as a card for my graduation....he wants to buy me my laptop.
Me: ::blinkblink:: cool!
I knew that with the finacial aid I have, I *could* afford the iBook required for teaching majors, but I wasn't sure how tight it would be. For a girl that has about ten dollars spending money a week *with* two jobs, the thought of spending over $800 on one computer was a little daunting. (the newest model, the G-4, costs $999......ick)
He also wanted to know what recreational software I wanted, as well as a carrying case, and anything else He can think of to "Personalize" this gift. I say; if he wants to throw this much money at me, more power to him. I'm not sure how/if this will change my feelings toward him, though it *does* help to sooth the ruffled feathers of my Neglect issues somewhat.
No computer, or other monitary gift, will wash away 11 years worth of abandonment. I know that. And I don't know if I will ever be able to be comfortable around him. But I *can* appriciate the effort he is making now, belated though it may be. Just talking over the internet, I can pretend he's just another aquaitance. it's when I am with him face to face that it's rubbed into my face how much of a stranger he is to me. and a creepy one at that.
Oh hell. I don't know *how* I feel about the man...there's so much fear/contempt/distrust/anger and....I dunno. I've pitied him too. I'll just say I'm glad to be getting a laptop, and be done with it!
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 10:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 06:09 pm (UTC)And uh... while I have you here... have you heard from Kit? O.O
no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 06:10 pm (UTC)... I'm gonna try her cell.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 06:16 pm (UTC)